Keeping Things Quiet

Andy and I decided not to share baby news until after our first ultrasound. I can’t really put my finger on why. Part of me felt really foolish last time – about buying a “Big Brother” shirt for Graham and making Thanksgiving announcements – only having to take it all back.

I know, I know. You ALL want to reach right through the screen and slap me it’s so ridiculous.

Fact is, I’m tentative about this one, and I think it’s going to take a good doctor’s appointment to grant me some permissibility to let myself feel excited and get attached. I don’t want to have to pretend that I feel any other way, and even though family would clearly understand, I’d probably put on a show anyway.

All said, my nose is already going crazy, and I’m getting intermittent waves of “ugh”, so I’m already a little comforted that this baby could have a different future than the last one.

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