Not Exactly My Style, But Okay

6 weeks and 6 days pregnant.

Inhale, exhale.

Last time – at 7 weeks exactly, Andy and I got our first indications that not all was well. Yes, we’d seen that little Doodlebug’s heartbeat, but measurements were behind a few days – knocking me back into “early Week 6”. And then of course the bleeding that had shown up on the ultrasound that made everybody in the office so grim and matter-of-fact.

It was over the next few days that all hell broke loose.

I’ve been thinking to myself that this Week 6 that I’ve been going through has been some sort of auspicious benchmark to pass, but now I’m thinking that it’s actually Week 7 that I should be looking out for.

Hmm. And then if I make it through Week 7, of course, I’ll be rewarded with my first doctor’s appointment and ultrasound (Yippee! and FINALLY!) right smack when the ol’ clock turns over to 8 weeks.

I think I can do this. I think I can, I think I can.

As I’ve been staring down the barrel of this momentus Week 6 (as I’ve had it built up in my head, anyway), I’ve been nervous and wishing for the time to pass quickly. Then I came down with pink eye, a crazy hobble from foot pain and a cold that resulted in laryngitis and, later, a sinus infection.

God, I’m not really questioning your tactics, because the pregnancy truly has been the last thing on my mind this week, I’m just saying… well..  it’s not exactly what I might have chosen for myself, truth be told. A sweepstakes instant getaway to the Caribbean might’ve been nice. Fighting moments of nausea is a lot harder with all the gobbledegook I’ve got going on in my ear/nose/throat area.

Either way, I’m in the anxious time, but I’m not all that anxious. I feel more… aware… but not anxious. Just waiting to see what comes of this little one. I know I’m in good hands, and there’s a peace that comes with being completely powerless.  That is, of course, if you can let go. :)

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