Sympathy, Empathy and The Road Less Traveled

Apologies in advance for this not-much-of-an-update update. It has been quite the month!

Job hunting is not my favorite thing to do. It has been during this process that I realized – although this sounds sort of obnoxious – I’ve never really had to look for a job before. I mean, I’ve applied for jobs, but it was always for people who were looking for exactly my skill set and experience. They were looking for me. It’s not hard to find a job when someone is looking for you specifically.

Food science is a niche-y field, and I work in a somehow-even-tinier niche within that field. Suffice it to say: there aren’t many jobs to be had. On the other hand: there aren’t many people who do what I do either. This isn’t a terrible situation to be in, really, but it does mean that you need to be willing to move to wherever in the country has an opening.

So there’s that. We were super choosy about where we took this current job because it fit a criss-crossing criteria of being near family while not being in such a big city that we lose half our non-working hours merely getting from place to place. But we didn’t want to be in a little city either.

Basically we’re fussy prima donna millennials that want the world on a platter and don’t want to make sacrifices. K?

Anyhow, I’ve been riding the job hunt roller coaster – feeling alternately completely depressed about myself and just-OK about myself. I have appreciated the kind words of ‘this is meant to be’ and things about doors and windows closing/opening and “you’re awesome, you’ll find something”s, but pouring your heart out in cover letter and emails to get absolutely no response time and time again will seriously mess with your head. Also to go in for a job – as I am – with a colleague and have it be only her who gets all the callbacks? You can really only take so much of it.

As with most crappy life situations, it’s easy to spot who has been in this position before, because they don’t slather on sunshine and hope and positivity. They sit next to you and tell you how much it sucks, but that you do eventually come out the other side and then ask you out to lunch so you can give your brain a rest from all the mind games and doom. And I should say: I really do dislike all the “Things you should/not say to a person going through _____” articles that get reposted on Facebook, because I believe that people are earnestly doing their best and that some manner of reaching out is better than none at all because it means that they’re trying. That said – when you’re down, the line between ‘sympathy’ and ’empathy’ is super obvious. Sympathy does have an ‘up here-ness’ to it and empathy has a ‘down here’ quality about it. It feels almost identical to the giver and worlds apart to the receiver.

It’s been a month and three days since I had my appointment with HR. I have rewritten my resume at least a dozen times, applied for positions and flexed my network. Things are starting to come back, and I’ve got three paths that are starting to come into view. I won’t go into specifics here, but these three new jobs are very different.

Job #1 is basically exactly the same job I’m doing now at a really great family-owned company that people love working for and who has been super nice to me, but would require us to move. Probably a little less pay but in the ballpark of what I’m making now.

Job #2 is a stereotypical huge career opportunity, with several people reporting to me and a lovely title but also requires up to 50% travel and likely short term as I’d either have to move or leave the position in a couple of years. I have a sponsor/mentor who has been pulling all kinds of crazy strings to get me a chance at this one.

Job #3 is a management job at a small company owned by smart people. Their product is renowned, and their industry growing like crazy. The pay will be less and the commute would be long (like 45 minutes each way). It’s a production job, but it’s still in the food industry and has to do with sensory. My first interview was with the president of the company. They bring dogs to the office. (Don’t tell Hugo, because nope.) This job would be my exodus from corporate. This excites me more than I can say, but I also wonder if it’s not just because I’ve been burned so recently and in a few years would wish to have it back.

So that’s me. That’s life this past month. In another month, I should have a decent idea what my next job will be. Stay tuned!

 

Comments

  1. You are in a tough place right now, and we sure wish it was different. Enjoyed our lunch so much last week. Let us know when you’re ready for another! Hang in there.

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